ALRIGHT,

So as of today I am not going to try and help someone who doesn't want my help.

I've tried, and atleast I can say that.

I TRIED.

I'm sorry that you're not concerned with my feelings and I'm sorry that I can't help you because

you won't allow me to.

I'm sorry that I can't be your friend because you don't know how to be one.

I'm sorry that you think that everyone is going to fuck you over, and I'm sorry that

you're setting yourself up for failure.

It makes me sad to see you torture yourself like that.

But I can't do anything about it because you won't let me.

I hope you get better.

Soft Shock

I don't know why I give, give, give.

I don't give because I want to reap the benefits of giving.

I give because I want to make someone happy, or help someone out.

But it usually ends up biting me in the ass.

It's a little upsetting.

You know nothing about me, and you don't really bother to ask.

That's alright, I don't want a boyfriend for this reason anyway.

Relationships mean that someone is lying. Usually.

Not all the time, but usually.

People fight over the stupidest things, and it's annoying.

You give your all, only to find out that they didn't.

That they didn't try.

Or you try and try and you're not even IN a relationship, and you still

get nothing in return.

God damn, I don't ask for much.

I don't ask for anything at all.

I DON'T WANT ANYTHING.

I want to be alone, that is all.

"Add nice
Sugar and spice
I'll take you on a cruise to somewhere nice
You haven't been before
Love was meant for more
You moved up close, I could feel your sweat
I kissed you on your neck and you got wet
It's a shallow treat for a guy like me

Everybody's looking at you like they want to
Like they want to go home with you
Everybody's looking at you like they want to
Everybody's looking at you like they want to
Everybody's looking at you like they want to
Like they want to go home with you

I've got nothin' keeping me here
I've wasted all the love that I hold dear
I'll throw a dart: L.A.
The wolf has run away
The guy you know thinks he's so slick
He'll kiss you on the lips but he'll get sick
Lothario..
He's a creep you know

Everybody's looking at you like they want to
Like they want to go home with you
Everybody's looking at you like they want to
Everybody's looking at you like they want to
Everybody's looking at you like they want to
Like they want to go home with you

I'm on your trail, I can smell your blood
I've had enough with unrequited love
It's the coast I crave
Leads me to my grave
Still in my head was the sick of my spine
Give it up and I will make you mine
I will buy you things
Like diamond rings

Everybody's looking at you like they want to
Like they want to go home with you
Everybody's looking at you like they want to
Everybody's looking at you like they want to
Everybody's looking at you like they want to
Like they want to go home with you "

TV on the RADIO

Say say my playmate
Won't you lay hands on me
Mirror my malady
Transfer my tragedy

Got a curse I cannot lift
Shines when the sunset shifts
When the moon is round and full
Gotta bust that box gotta gut that fish

My mind's aflame

We could jet in a stolen car
But I bet we wouldn't get too far
Before the transformation takes
And bloodlust tanks and
Crave gets slaked

My mind has changed my body's frame but god I like it
My heart's aflame my body's strained but god I like it

My mind has changed my body's frame but god I like it
My heart's aflame my body's strained but god I like it

Charge me your day rate
I'll turn you out in kind
When the moon is round and full
Gonna teach you tricks that'll blow your mongrel mind

Baby doll I recognize
You're a hideous thing inside
If ever there were a lucky kind it's
You you you you

I know it's strange another way to get to know you
You'll never know unless we go so let me show you
I know its strange another way to get to know you
We've got till noon here comes the moon so let it show you
Show you now

Dream me oh dreamer
Down to the floor
Open my hands and let them
Weave onto yours

Feel me, completer
Down to my core
Open my heart and let it
Bleed onto yours

Feeding on fever
Down on all fours
Show you what all the
Howlin's for

Hey hey my playmate
Let me lay waste to thee
Burned down their hanging trees
It's hot here hot here hot here hot here

Got a curse we cannot lift
Shines when the sunshine shifts
There's a curse comes with a kiss
The bite that binds the gift that gives

Now that we got gone for good
Writhing under your riding hood
Tell your grandma and your mama too
It's true
We're howling forever

Billy Men

Ah, life.

I'm getting sick of these up and down days

with mixed emotions and unhappiness.

I already know the reason.

Why can't I just be happy alone?

I can.

Part of me feels that nixing the negative will

be invigorating and I can finally be free and happy.

I want to be free and happy.

What am I waiting for!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

For Jonathan:

I have to say that you were the best thing that ever happened to me.

And not in the way that you think.

Thank you for being a complete asshole.

I appreciate your lack of honesty, because it showed me what

was really hidden underneath after all these years.

And to think that it even lasted that long.

I'm glad it happened this way because I can now see what I'm worth

and even better what I deserve.

It's too bad that you had to be such a coward though.

I held high hopes for you, I really tried.

No one can tell me that I didn't try for you.

No one can say that I didn't give you my absolute all.

Everything I had, I gave to you.

I got nothing in return, but that's okay.

I have always realized that there is nothing monetary or

material that can bring me happiness. And I am beyond okay with that.

I am beyond you and "us", or whatever we were.

I feel sorry for you.

I hope that you can be a better person to the next girl you "fall in love with".

I hope you learned something from this and from me.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I think that the main reason why I'm stressin' is

because I see no real substance in love anymore.

I just don't understand how people can lie to the ones they care about,

how someone can do such hurtful things to another.

(And I'm not just talking about you, Jonathan.)

I mean all couples. Half of them are being lied to.

It's so sad.

I would rather be alone than worry about someone else

lying to my face and deceiving me.

I think that's the part that makes me sad.

It makes me feel as if there is no one out there that can

truly give love to someone else, and expect nothing else

but love in return.

I want to be alone and independent, just like I know I can be.

Just how I was before.

(thank you stumbleupon)

I had a dream on tuesday night. I was running through a field of cut green grass. In the distance were two trees and an old building in between them. It was dark outside, but I could see the colors so vividly. A few feet in front of the trees and building, the grass was tall and wispy. As if someone had stopped cutting at that point. There was a rabbit behind the grass, facing away from the building. I could see his huge black eyes and his nose jumping up and down. When I ran past him, he ran away. That's all I remember.