17 February 2011

Billy Men

Ah, life.
I'm getting sick of these up and down days
with mixed emotions and unhappiness.
I already know the reason.
Why can't I just be happy alone?
I can.
Part of me feels that nixing the negative will
be invigorating and I can finally be free and happy.
I want to be free and happy.
What am I waiting for!

For Jonathan:
I have to say that you were the best thing that ever happened to me.
And not in the way that you think.
Thank you for being a complete asshole.
I appreciate your lack of honesty, because it showed me what
was really hidden underneath after all these years.
And to think that it even lasted that long.
I'm glad it happened this way because I can now see what I'm worth
and even better what I deserve.
It's too bad that you had to be such a coward though.
I held high hopes for you, I really tried.
No one can tell me that I didn't try for you.
No one can say that I didn't give you my absolute all.
Everything I had, I gave to you.
I got nothing in return, but that's okay.
I have always realized that there is nothing monetary or
material that can bring me happiness. And I am beyond okay with that.
I am beyond you and "us", or whatever we were.
I feel sorry for you.
I hope that you can be a better person to the next girl you "fall in love with".
I hope you learned something from this and from me.

I think that the main reason why I'm stressin' is
because I see no real substance in love anymore.
I just don't understand how people can lie to the ones they care about,
how someone can do such hurtful things to another.
(And I'm not just talking about you, Jonathan.)
I mean all couples. Half of them are being lied to.
It's so sad.
I would rather be alone than worry about someone else
lying to my face and deceiving me.
I think that's the part that makes me sad.
It makes me feel as if there is no one out there that can
truly give love to someone else, and expect nothing else
but love in return.
I want to be alone and independent, just like I know I can be.
Just how I was before.

(thank you stumbleupon)

No comments: